hold on.

Today I found myself thinking of my grandma a lot. The holidays are coming and the first christmas without her is quickly approaching. In all seriousness, I am not looking forward to christmas, more so wishing it would never come. My mom wrote a Christmas letter (like she does every year) to put in our Christmas cards...almost didn't even send out christmas cards, but we did. The letter makes me cry everytime I read it. Talks about how this was a rough year losing both my grandma and a good family friend, kelley. Then about how much Grandma always insisted on having Christmas eve at her house and the fun memories we had in doing so. Then at the bottom it has all different pictures of Grandma (all my favorites). I miss her. We all do and it will be a rough season.

One thing I hold onto though is that God is with me. He is right by my side, holding on to me, through all the pain and hurt, He is holding on. I am so thankful for my Lord. The DVD "How great is our God" keeps popping in my head, reminding me that though He doesnt change the circumstance He knows and sees and is right there HOLDING US TOGETHER. I am so thankful for this because I know that if it wasn't for Him I probably would not be living right now. He saw me when I was weak and frail...when I was tired and done trying...and He SAVED me and changed my life.

So as I think about my Grandma and how much I miss her...I also remember the God that created us and saved us and remember that He sees me and my pain and He is right here with me through it all to hold me and comfort me. Lord keep holding please!